How NOT to do a Wedding Muskegon Beach, Muskegon,Michigan, July 1, 2006

Guests Arriving Guests Arriving-Setting up the table Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving-Long dresses and high heels work well...NOT Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving-Long dresses in Sand--Priceless! Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Some of the Dune Scenery Nearby Guests Arriving Nice scenery-too bad no one scoped out the site first! Guests Arriving Pesky Non-guests :) The kids know how to have a good time Guests Arriving How am I supposed to get over there... ...in a dress like this? Guests Arriving Guests Arriving More Scenery The Music has Arrived! ...Or it will... As soon as the sand is navigated :) Guests Arriving The Entertainment has arrived--local hooligans on Jet Skis! :) Guests Arriving Guests Arriving Guests Arriving The Wait continues... "Well, we're WAITING...." The Minister has arrived. Suits, ties, and fancy shoes should be outlawed on a beach... Guests Arrived - Waiting... Guests Still Waiting... Guests Waiting some more.... Guests Arriving "She'll be coming round the corner in a few..." :) Let's Line up--remember how we did this... ...on nice, solid ground?!?!? Preparing for Brides Arrival Preparing for Brides Arrival Ok, ok, it's not working out... Groom paces...for good reason. :) Preparing for Brides Arrival "How are we going to walk in this $#%@#"? "It'll be over in a few minutes.. I PROMISE!" "She's here! GOOD!" Oh...Lets lay out this WHITE CLOTH RUNNER on this nice SOFT SAND! JUST DO IT! Ms. Green is recording this fiasco for posterity...SO ARE WE! Just WALK! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! The Bride Arrives! HOW THE #$@ do I walk in this sand?!?!? The Wind is a bitch, isn't it? Don't even try to hold your veil down! Won't work! I told you! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! The wind at the beach doesn't stop! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! Finally! Let the Bride's Unhappiness Begin! Screw what we rehearsed... Just say "I do!" says the guests :) Be seated...try not to slip in the sand. Get It Over With! Get It Over With! Get It Over With! Get It Over With! Get It Over With! Get It Over With! Get It Over With! Get It Over With! Get It Over With! DAMN..finally! Gee...I wonder if the bride is unhappy? Can't quite tell...but maybe They're a little closer now...how about now? Most Defintely NOT a smile! ...Not doing the rehersal on site in full dress.... PRICELESS!!!!!!!!! I don't think I'd want to be within earshot of the couple... ...for the rest of their lives!! Let the Post Wedding Grumbling begin! Methinks the bride is royally pissed. She Ain't Happy! :) "Let's NOT talk to them ... for the rest of their lives..." Guests who dressed RIGHT!!!!!!! Woman in blue: "Boy this was a cluster%^%$ of a wedding" Guest running away as fast as they can! Let the exodus commence! The sooner we clean up, the sooner we forget this ever happened! Hurry! Hurry! "Reception cancelled -- we don't want to watch their divorce :)" MORE people called in to help forget this wedding :) Wipe this memory from the face of the earth..."TOO LATE!" We got it! :) "Aren't we glad the the BRIDE planned this? We're off the HOOK!" Wedding? Was there a wedding here? I didn't think so!